If no one’s told you yet (and you have zero kids or only one), adding a second child really THROWS your life upside down. Maybe it’s just me? I always kept hearing that adding one child to a couple’s life is the hardest transition, but for me, it’s by far adding a second that’s really done us in!
Over the past ten months of having to kids to tend to and work alongside on a daily basis, I’ve made constant changes in my life that will help me “simplify” things and create an order our family craves. Why do we need to simplify you might ask? Well, because honestly child-rearing two young kids is a task in itself and a 24/7 job, but that coupled with running three businesses as a married couple, things started to get overwhelming, to say the least. It’s been my #1 mission throughout the last couple of months to streamline our work, create clear boundaries between business vs family time, and cut out all the non-priorities that take us away from our long term goals and our kids.
In today’s post, I wanted to outline how we’re simplifying our weeks and also which household tasks we are streamlining! The first and biggest thing that has multiplied since adding a second baby girl to our lives has been laundry. After a while I started to feel neck-deep in dirty clothes, diapers, dishes…you get the gist;) Right before I would have to film a video, I noticed the laundry scattered all around the room and it became very overwhelming so I knew I needed help. A few months ago I finally outsourced the first thing in my personal life and that was to hire a cleaning lady twice a month. It has made such a huge difference in my mental state (and Doug’s too!) to have someone deep clean our bathrooms and floors while picking up here and there so we can forget about it a few times a month and focus on things that truly matter. A lot of people assume they can’t afford a cleaner, but if you really analyze your budget and prioritize things that will help your mood and family time, then you might be able to move things around in the budget (like Starbucks runs, shopping, or eating out) to make room for it! As a stay/work from home mom, it seriously makes a huge difference.
We have been loving using all® Mighty Pacs Odor Lifter detergent because when Annabelle is running through the grass outside at the park or getting sand on everything at the beach, I know that it’s not a problem because all® laundry detergent can attack tough odors and stains super easily. I also know that it’s effective enough to get out even the strongest colored foods that Scarlett smooshes into her onesies! It has a powerful stain remover, concentrated cleaning power, and in-wash pre-treaters that work perfectly to remove dirt and odor. I never have to stress a stain with the number of things that get rubbed into my toddler or baby’s clothes because I know they can come right out with all®!
Another game-changer for how we are simplifying our lives has been to hire help. I’m naturally an “I can do everything by myself” type of person and this makes things difficult on those closest to me because I obviously cannot do everything myself! I end up getting frustrated and overwhelmed when it all doesn’t get done. I’m just now learning this about myself;) I know now after having baby #2 that I needed to LET GO! I need to let go of expectations, let go of Mom guilt, and let go of having a perfect life in every aspect (cleanliness of the home, work 100% done, friendships all strong, etc.). Now that I work for myself and tend to two small children, things are going to naturally fall by the wayside in my life and I’ve been trying to keep afloat instead of embracing this phase of life and what naturally comes with it.
We decided to hire a babysitter a couple of hours a week and it’s been life changing. I used to tell myself that “It’s impossible to trust a complete stranger” or “There’s no one out there who has what we need!” or “No one can watch the baby because I don’t pump”, but I’ve realized those were just stories I was telling myself to keep from trying something new and progressing. We finally found a girl that is amazing with both of our girls and a person we trust so much. For the last two weeks we’ve went on our first ever date nights and it’s been so fun! I know reconnecting as a couple will be so good for us during this season of life!
The last way we are simplifying our lives is to focus on our relationships and cultivate a strong support community. This is something that is a long term goal and one that doesn’t come instantly overnight, but finding a Church with people we can trust and rely on I know will drastically change our lives and make us happier people. It will provide us with the support we seek from like minded people who are also in this crazy phase of life.
Have you considered outsourcing things in your life as a mom? What overwhelms you the most and how can you fix it? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
*A big thank you to All for sponsoring this post!
I get the laundry building up since having a second baby it’s been crazy. I used to be so obessed with my house always being clean and have had to let that go since having a second baby. Raising two under two is like you said no joke. I hope you find a church you love I know that’s something in my life I’m very thankful for. My husband is actually training to be a pastor! So happy to see you back hayley I missed the vlogs but am loving these new ones I always remember the Hayley and Doug trips to mcdonalds lol
Dough should have kept his 6 figure job while haylee slowly hustled on the side as extra, while being a SAHM. They put soooo much pressure on their young growing family and marriage it was bound to crash and burn. She was money hungry. Wanted to be famous and now all that stress was for nothing because she’s not successful.
Dough had an easy job 9-5 he came home for lunch and in time for dinner. What more could you want makin 6 figures?
Hi Hayley
You are doing great I can understand that.
Some negative people follow everywhere so if you see anything negative on your blog or on YouTube just ignore and don’t let those negative people to enter into your mind and destroy your inner peace.
What you have decided and doing right now only you can know that it’s far important and better for your family’s future
So great job Hayley I applaud for you
Writing this because I have read something negative for this blog post
So ignore those negative comments
Have a blessed and successful life
Yes what you said in your post is very true. I only have one child and he turned my life upside down. I thought I had it all figured out – he sure showed me. We also hired a babysitter every now and then and that was a game changer. Just being able to go pee on my own was divine! Having grandparents too that was available really helped also. I appreciate my parents so much more and not because they have helped me with my son but because they love my son as if he was their own. It’s truly priceless. You are doing a great job Hayley. Keep it up!
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com